Hi Friend,
Remember years ago when talk shows ruled the afternoon airwaves? (Maybe they still do, I don’t have cable any more, so I have no idea). One topic that came up repeatedly was forgiveness. Usually the discussion focused on something awful that person B had done to person A and in the course of the conversation, the interviewer (usually Oprah) would ask if person A (usually a crying woman) had forgiven person B.
The broader discourse at the time was that anger hurts only the person feeling the emotion; forgiveness frees that person. The people being interviewed would talk on and on about how free they felt when they let go of their unnecessary anger, and how everyone around them should do the same.
Don’t be angry, forgive. Always forgive. Just do it, do it now, do it all the time.
The discussion annoyed me because it ignored a very important facet of forgiveness: what if anger was a necessary step on the road to forgiveness? What if, in order to have true forgiveness, you have to let yourself feel the anger, first. Sure, some of those weeping interviewees may have held onto their anger longer than was emotionally necessary, but what if they reason they felt free when they forgave was because they felt their anger and when it no longer served them, they were able to let it go?
What if, by telling everyone to just move quickly to forgiveness, afternoon television was telling everyone to avoid a very important step on that journey?
So what does forgiveness have to do with freelancing?
What often happens when people who have been freelancing a long time give advice to newcomers is their advice focuses on what serves them now. What’s working for them as established freelancers.
But that often ignores all the steps they had to go through before they were established.
It’s all well and good for me to tell you to charge what you’re worth, but if you’re brand new to freelancing, how do you determine that? How do you convince clients of your worth when you’re not yet sure of it?
It’s easy for established freelancers to say “don’t ever charge an hourly rate because project pricing is better and value pricing is best,” but it dismisses the reality that many of us had to go through hourly rates, then move to project pricing, and then finally move to value pricing.
We can even say “don’t write for content mills because they’re terrible,” but if you’re stressing about putting food on the table and keeping a roof over your head, well, content mills might look like a decent option.
What works for an established freelancer—who likely has a great deal of samples to show clients, a long list of ongoing clients, and a savings account to fall back on—might not work for newcomers, who are still building their portfolio, developing their systems, and figuring things out all while living from project-to-project.
That doesn’t mean the advice is bad, it just means you have to put it into context. Maybe their words don’t mean anything to you today, but you can store them away for when you’re more established. Maybe that advice provides you with a goal, so you can establish a trajectory for yourself. Maybe their circumstances are completely different from yours and what they say will never be relevant.
Where we veer into dangerous territory is when mentors shame newcomers about what they have to do to earn money (and if I’ve ever done that, I absolutely apologize—I never want any of my advice to make anyone feel ashamed; when I give my thoughts it’s about creating the best business for you, but it’s up to you to determine what that looks like).
As you read people’s (including my) thoughts on freelancing, remember the following:
Not all advice is relevant to every person at every stage of their career. Some of it is meant for people who are new, some for those who are intermediate, and some for those who are advanced.
Just because it’s not relevant to you now, doesn’t mean it won’t ever be. It could show you what’s possible in your career or provide you with a goal to move towards. Bookmark it or otherwise keep it in mind as you advance your career.
By the same token, just because it’s not relevant to you doesn’t mean it’s irrelevant for everyone. You may not need those words right now, but someone else almost certainly does. I’m seeing a lot of discussion on LinkedIn where people jump all over posters for sharing an insight that isn’t relevant to them, completely ignoring that there may be many people it’s relevant for.
Your circumstances are different from everyone else’s. I’m a financially single woman with no dependents who has to rely on freelancing income to pay all her bills. You might have a primary income or a spouse with an income that pays the bills or be single but have dependents. All of those factors will weigh into your decisions. Just because I wouldn’t take on a project doesn’t mean you shouldn’t (or can’t).
View all the advice you’re given as being simply a different perspective. I share experiences through my lens, but, as noted above, what works for me won’t work for everyone. It’s up to you to determine whether each article I publish works for you or not. All I can do is offer you a slightly different perspective on the issues you face and give you something to think about that you may not have considered before.
Just because you don’t want to do something doesn’t mean it won’t work for you. There’s a difference between something feeling uncomfortable and something being wrong for you. When you’re a business owner, you have to push yourself to be uncomfortable sometimes, otherwise you’ll never grow.
Some people who give advice still hold very traditional (possibly privileged) views about freelancing. One writer says outright that you’ll never know if you can be successful at full-time freelancing if you try to do it while holding a regular job. While I can see the merit in that argument, the truth is that given the high cost of living these days and the time it takes to establish yourself, some people might need to start freelancing while working another job. There’s nothing wrong with this. In fact, it might enable you to build up a savings account that you can lean on in slower times, which may make your business more successful in the long run.
Your business is yours to run. You will make the final decisions and face the consequences (positive and negative) of those decisions. That’s the responsibility you take on when you run a business.
When you seek advice or guidance from another freelancer—or when they offer it unsolicited—view it only as another perspective you might not have considered, not as a directive you must follow to be successful. When evaluating whether their guidance works for you, consider whether their goals, circumstances, priorities, and abilities match yours. And rather than dismissing any advice outright, ask if there are kernels within their guidance that could work for you, even if not every element is relevant.
And don’t be afraid to ask what they did when they were just getting started, and whether it worked for them at the time. Their answers could be highly insightful.
LinkedIn webinar
For those of you who are interested, I’m thrilled to offer a webinar for Editors Canada on using LinkedIn to grow your business. This webinar focuses on how you can develop relationships with clients and enhance your income through strategic engagement with the platform. It will not tell you how to get to a million followers, how to go viral, or how to retire on your LinkedIn profits. It will share how, with a following of only around 2,000, I’ve earned a decent amount in the past four years—income I wouldn’t have earned without the platform. I’ll help you refine your bio, overcome mindset issues, and maybe even view LinkedIn as a fun place to post.
Information on the webinar is here.
Here’s to your ongoing freelance success,
Heidi