The curse of the comfort zone

Don't let comfort hold your freelance career back

Hi Friend,

I see an awful lot of people start freelancing and leave quicker than my dog leaves the room when he realizes there’s no treat in my hand. Some people weren’t all that invested in it, which is fine. Freelancing isn’t for everyone and for those who are between jobs it can be a good way to pay the bills while they look for something else.

But for those who get into freelancing because they genuinely love it and want it as a career, there is one major factor I see across 90% of those who leave.

It’s usually not what they tell themselves it is.

They blame it on lack of money, lack of clients, or burning out. And those are absolutely factors, but they are symptoms of the problem. They aren’t usually the root cause. Like how we blame our tiredness on lack of caffeine, rather than on the fact that we stayed up until 3:00 am reading a fantastic book.

Often, the root cause of people leaving freelancing is…

You can’t stay in that comfort zone forever, kitty Photo by Kate Stone Matheson on Unsplash

…unwillingness to push themselves out of their comfort zones.

My office is a safe space of blissful comfort and nothing shall disrupt that

I get it. We get into freelancing because we love our comfort zones. Our entire career as freelancers is predicated on being comfortable. We don’t have to leave our homes to go to work in uncomfortable offices while wearing uncomfortable clothing and engaging in uncomfortable small talk. We get to work in an office we’ve set up for ourselves, wearing the clothes that make us feel creative and engaging in conversation we choose (usually whatever the dog is willing to discuss with us that day).

We get to live our days in our comfort zones.

We love our comfort zones. We thrive in them.

Comfort zones make us feel happy and content and safe. Nothing bad happens in our comfort zone.

Or at least that’s what we tell ourselves. Because in truth, failure to push ourselves can cause our business to fall apart. And that is a bad thing.

Unless you’re one of the two people in the world who is never uncomfortable with anything (and, spoiler alert, you probably aren’t), running a successful business means embracing discomfort.

You have to get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable.

Now, let’s be crystal clear about a couple of things. When I talk about getting comfortable being uncomfortable I absolutely do not mean either of the following:

1. Saying yes to clients who make you uneasy or set off red flags. Do not ever force yourself to work with someone who makes you personally uneasy or uncomfortable. That is the start of a long road of regret and self-loathing.

2. Doing any work that feels ethically, morally, or legally wrong. See above re: regret and self-loathing.

What I’m talking about is discomfort regarding the sort of things we often have to do to protect ourselves and build our business:

• Setting boundaries

• Refusing to work with people who set off red flags (see the note above)

• Raising our rates

• Saying no

• Following up on unpaid invoices

• Marketing ourselves

• Networking

• Managing expectations

Any of the items on that list causing a slightly queasy feeling in your stomach, like you’ve just been on a yacht in a hurricane? Maybe you read that list and felt like running screaming from the room before eating an entire tub of Oreo ice cream to soothe yourself (or something like that).

If so, you’re not alone. I wasn’t born loving any of those activities, either. I don’t sit at my desk rubbing my fingers together filled with glee about the next time I have to tell a client “no.”

I’ve seen the madness that comes with not telling clients “no,” and I don’t want that for you.

For many of us, setting boundaries, saying no, and talking about our business are as uncomfortable as wearing a swimsuit in the arctic. But unlike the swimsuit, they are necessary to successfully freelance (and they usually won’t cause hypothermia. At least, I sincerely hope you’re never in a position where setting a boundary results in your having hypothermia).

If you want to find clients, you have to somehow market yourself. You will probably have to network. If you want to earn enough to make a living over the long term, you have to charge a solid amount. Thanks to inflation, you will probably have to raise your rates. If you don’t want to lose all your personal time you will have to set boundaries.

If you want to keep your sanity, you will probably first have to jump headfirst into the discomfort zone, which is like the Twilight Zone but marginially less unsettling.

And that’s a huge issue for a lot of people. They get into freelancing hoping to stay firmly inside their comfort zone. When things don’t go as well as they hoped, rather than pushing themselves through their discomfort, they give up. They tell themselves the clients couldn’t be found, or weren’t willing to pay higher rates.

The problem with discomfort is that there’s no hack for getting around it. You just have to push yourself into it. Then do it again. Then do it a few more times, until the activity is either no longer uncomfortable or until it’s a habit. There are ways to make it slightly easier, but you will still have accept and embrace discomfort, even in the short-term.

Here’s the thing: hundreds (thousands? millions?) of successful freelancers have embraced discomfort and lived to tell about it. They’ve pushed themselves through moments that felt icky and come through the other side. Usually, their business is stronger for it.

The sooner you start doing it, the better.

Sharing time: Comment below with what’s something about freelancing that makes you feel uncomfortable?

Here’s to your freelance success,

Heidi

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